“Life of a Software Architect” – Episode 2

Patrick, the Technical Director walks into the Comms Room to find 5 people all gathered round a rack-server….

“Whats going on here?”, Patrick asks.

A few embarrassed faces look round from the rack. One of the tech-heads nervously answers, “We are… well what happened was…”, he flounders, looking desperately at his comrades for assistance.

“It was like this…”, a second propeller-head starts, but stops again just as quickly.

“For God-sake tell me what-the-f**k is going on!”, Patrick snaps.

“OK… TJ asked us to open some firewall ports to get his laptop working from home”, the first tech-head begins, referring to Terry James (one of the home-working programmers). “He didn’t say why, but we guessed it had something to do with his last trip to the Philippines.”

Again, the engineers all look a bit furtive and embarrassed…

“Go on”, Patrick urges.

“Well… It appears that TJ has set himself up a chat room on our server to arrange English weddings.”, he continues.

“WHAT?!”, Patrick exclaims.

“It gets worse”, the engineer quickly resumes before Patrick can interrupt any more, “He has somehow managed to set up a back-to-back web page called ‘Filipino-girls-get-naked.com'”

“I don’t understand”, says Patrick, worry creeping into his voice.

At this point the head of the technical group raises his hand slightly and says, “Perhaps I can elaborate a little?”

“Go on”, TD snaps, a look of concern now scampering unfettered across his face, and parking itself firmly in his furrowed brow.

“It seems that TJ has persuaded all these nubile girls to register on this ‘find a husband’ site, and as part of the sign-up, they have to strip-naked and perform various acts with vegetables and things…”, Patrick is looking pale at this point but head-boffin continues, “He is then posting these videos on the other site for the saddo’s to pay for and download.”

“Oh my god….”, TD utters, looking sickly white now.

“It gets worse”, head-boffin continues, whilst Patrick notices some smirks appearing on the other faces, “It seems that our own Managing Director is downloading all the videos onto his PC upstairs as we speak. It seems that he has subscribed to this second site!”

TD glances quickly around the room, “Shut it down. Shut it down right now.” and storms out of the room with the sound of tittering in background. As he walks towards the canteen, the mobile phone holstered at his hip vibrates. Glancing down at the display, he notes with disgust that it is Tony, the MD. “Hello.”, he answers abruptly.

“Ah Patrick. Glad I caught you. Having a little problem with my PC.”, Tony’s staccato conversation fall on Patrick’s astonished ears, “Can’t seem to get this bloody PC to work properly. Won’t let me download stuff anymore. Can you send one of the boffins up? Cheers, Bye.”

Patrick looks down at the display, and with slumped shoulders, walks back to the Comms Room.


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